How to Help a Brother & Friend Who Is Depressed

Witnessing a friend exhibit signs of withdrawal, melancholy, and irritability can present challenges. These behaviors may indicate depression, a condition that impacts approximately 16 million adults in the United States. So, how can you provide support and assistance to your friends and loved ones in such situations?

As a buddy, create a comfortable setting for conversation and give yourself some time to listen. By encouraging your friend to get treatment from a mental health expert, you could be the first step in their rehabilitation, says Jeffrey DeVore, LMSW, ACSW, ACT, a behavioral health social worker and psychotherapist at Henry Ford Health.

Understanding the Signs of Depression

Difficult periods are a part of everyone's life journey. However, statistics show that approximately 1 in 6 Americans will encounter depression at some stage, leading to feelings of despair and a loss of interest in once-enjoyed activities. Additionally, nearly half of these individuals will also grapple with anxiety, characterized by excessive worry, fear, and panic.

Depression not only affects mental well-being but also raises the risk of diabetes, heart disease, and stroke, impacting physical health as well. Understanding this, your actions can positively influence your friend's overall well-being. To gain a better understanding of their thoughts and behaviors, it is helpful to educate yourself about depression.

If your acquaintance exhibits one or more of these signs, they may be depressed:

• outbursts of rage or irritation
• trouble sleeping
• Lack of energy and fatigue inability to focus on a task or make judgments
• reduced appetite
• a low sense of self
• unclean personal habits

Guidelines for Helping a Friend With Depression

The stigma around depression is still quite strong. Your companion can feel guilty or ashamed of their depression. Support can be a much-needed respite, according to DeVore.

Do's 

DeVore suggests bearing the following "do's" in mind when helping a friend who is depressed:

• Be truthful; it's acceptable to express to your friend your worries on any changes you have noticed in their behavior and/or thinking.
• Encourage professional care because many depressed people might not be aware of their symptoms. Others might believe they can overcome obstacles on their own. Describe the various individuals who are qualified to offer assistance and therapy.
• Be patient: There are several ways to address depression, including counseling and prescription drugs. Although it could take some time for these therapies to reduce symptoms, research has shown that they work.
• Create a secure environment Make an inviting, tranquil environment so your friend feels comfortable talking about their feelings and worries.

Don'ts 

Despite your best efforts, some attempts to assist others can actually be damaging. DeVore suggests avoiding the following "don'ts":

Don't be your friend's lone supporter; enlist others as well. Create a network of support by talking to others who are close to them about your worries.

Ensure that no one knows about your friend's depression: Even though it's crucial to respect your friend's privacy, it's acceptable to assist them in finding medical specialists and resources. Tell them it's alright to talk to people they care about about how they're feeling.

neglect your own needs: Being a friend's depression supporter can be emotionally taxing. Spend some time caring for yourself while attending to your everyday obligations to your family, job, and home.

Suicide Warning Signs

“If you’re concerned that your friend’s depression is worsening, it’s okay to speak up,” says DeVore. “Many people assume that you shouldn’t discuss suicide with someone who’s depressed. But by asking if someone is thinking about harming themselves, you can more rapidly respond and get them the help they need.”

Warning signs your friend may be considering suicide include:

Feeling hopeless about the future

Giving away possessions or getting personal affairs in order

Increasing alcohol or substance use

Saying what seems like a final goodbye to family or friends

Talking about suicide or dying

Withdrawing and wanting to be alone

“The first step is to connect your friend with a medical professional who can conduct a thorough physical and mental health evaluation,” says DeVore.   

Offer to help your friend connect with these resources to get help:

Primary care physician: The doctor of your friend is familiar with their medical history, has the ability to evaluate their mental health, and can recommend them for treatment to mental health specialists.

Community-based support groups and organizations for mental health: These entities provide information and pointers to medical services.

Hotlines for suicide prevention: If you're worried that a friend is contemplating suicide, you can reach out for emergency assistance 24 hours a day by calling or texting the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988. Inquire with your friend's physician or therapist as well. Inform close friends or family members about your worries.